| PEOPLE |
 |
| Revealed: Mike Johnson Attended
“Purity Ball” Where Teenage Daughters
Sign Pledge to Their |
 Fathers
Never to Have Sex Before
Marriage
Fathers must also sign pledge to
never have sex with their daughters. |
|
|
Report: Clarence Thomas
Wanted More Money,
Considered Quitting Court
Fortunately, some extremely kind and
generous Good Samaritans offered to
help him, and now it's all good. |
| |
| BUSINESS |
|
Trademark Lawsuit Might
End 1-877-KARS-4-KIDS
Commercials
Enjoy them while you still can. |
| |
| ODDS 'N' ENDS |
|
 Vase Bought
at Goodwill for $3.99 Sold for $107,000
To the very same person who sold
it to Goodwill in the first place. |
|
|
| SCIENCE |
|
Study: ChatGPT, Mirroring Humans,
Less Productive in December
Complains of fatique, difficulty
concentrating, needs some time off. |
| |
| TECHNOLOGY |
|
World's First AI-Controlled
Autonomous Restaurant to
Open in California
“It'll be like sitting inside a
vending machine,” says owner. |
| |
| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
|
Study: Americans Getting
Shorter, Heavier
But also funnier, more adorable. |
|
 New Robotic
Tail for Humans Now in Clinical Trials
Inventor looks to future “when we can
all climb trees like monkeys, hop
around like kangaroos.” |
|
| |
| STORY OF THE YEAR |
|
SUPREME COURT TO DETERMINE
HUMANKIND'S FUTURE
After holiday break. |
|
