| PEOPLE |
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Report: Elon
Musk's Constant Presence Becoming
a Nuisance at Mar-a-Lago
His two-hour showers, foot-long
joints in the Jacuzzi already causing concern. |
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| BUSINESS |
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New Evidence Big Oil Knew
About Danger of Its Products as
Early as Big Tobacco Knew About Theirs
Same for Big Sugar, Big Cholesterol. |
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Trump Victory Made Many
Billionaires Much Richer
Madman money, says one. |
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Musk Claims He Can Cut
At Least $2 Trillion From
Federal Budget
And still pay himself a handsome salary. |
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| CONSUMER NEWS |
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Mattel Mistakenly
Lists Porn Site on Packaging for Its
Wicked Dolls
Toymaker apologizes, offers coupons
for free psychological counseling. |
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| SCIENCE |
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Scientists Forecast Possible
End of Male Species Due to
Y Chromosome Mutations
So long glass ceiling, cracks
one female scientist. |
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World's First Wooden Spacecraft
Launched Into Orbit
Also considered world's first artisanal satellite. |
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Scientist Claims
NASA's Martian Landers Looking
for Life May Have Killed It
Believes he heard a distinct Ouch!
as one of the landers traversed
planet's surface. |
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| HEALTH / MEDICINE |
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Report: Women Stockpiling
Abortion Pills
Just in case Trump follows through
on everything he's been saying for
the last decade. |
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Finding: 3/4 of American Adults
Overweight or Obese
Everyone else lookin' good. |
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