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TRUMP BROWBEATS
ZELENSKY IN OVAL OFFICE |
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Lists it as “one of the five things
I did last week,” in email to Putin. |
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| WORLD NEWS |
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Birth Rates Plummeting
Around Globe
Trend accelerates as more men, women
dating chatbots. |
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Trump Unveils $5 Million
Visa Plan for Rich Foreigners
Comes with a green card and a
pathway to membership at Mar-a-Lago. |
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| ALSO IN THE NEWS ... |
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 World's First Flying
Car Demonstrated
It's being developed simultaneously
with world's first flying police car. |
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| U. S. NEWS |
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21 DOGE Employees
Resign In Protest
They order themselves to clean out their desks. |
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White House to Decide Which News
Outlets Allowed in Press Pool
Reporters will ask questions provided
by White House, nod their approval at answers. |
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| REMINDER |
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Send your completed tax
form to Elon Musk. |
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Trump Signs Order Making
English Official U.S. Language
“This is one bigly covfefe,” he proclaims. |
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Consumer Confidence Plunges
“I'm never buying anything again,” says one. |
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Trump Administration Floats
Idea of DOGE Dividend
It could go a long way to pay for
a used car to live in after being
fired from your government job. |
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