Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO - JUNE 4 - 10, 2001
page three

SPACE

ORBITING CADILLACS CRASH TO EARTH IN TEXAS

No one hurt.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
“Pearl Harbor” Director: Stunts Real, No Computer Enhancement
But admits love story was created digitally.
Muppets Sold to Adult Film Group
Miss Piggy to star in X-rated feature, "Squeal Like Miss Piggy."
 
BUSINESS
RUBBER DUCKY FARMERS HIT HARD
Overbreeding leads to surplus, low prices.
SCIENCE
New DNA Research: All Humans Descended From African "Adam"
Authorities still looking for deadbeat dad now 100,000 years behind in child support.
Scientist Identifies Gene
Linked to Schizophrenia

Dr. Jekyll makes announcement before hurrying off.
195 Million Year-Old
Small Mammal Disovered in China

Success of animal believed due to organizational skills.
ENVIRONMENT
New Rise in Crime Another Good Reason to Drill in Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
Solution to crime problem could be buried under caribou calving sites.
 
CORRECTION
An announcement by the Voter News Service that the networks making up the consortium had voted to dissolve it due to mistakes in last November's presidential election was premature. Later tallies showed that the networks had voted to continue the service. VNS apologizes for the confusion.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times