Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - JUNE 18 - 24, 2001
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UN REPORT: OVERCROWDING IS #1 PROBLEM
Underdressing is #2.
ENTERTAINMENT
Sharon Stone Unhurt in Bizarre Lizard Attack, Says Emergency Publicist
But star may have suffered emotional distress watching Komodo dragon eat husband's toe.
“7-Eleven Security Camera”
Gets Fall Tryout

No reenactments, no manipulation;
cheapest show in television history.
 
BUSINESS
New Business Model Emerges
From Dot-Com Collapse

Small companies made up of individuals working and sleeping in their cars, with the ability to re-locate at a moment's notice, if parked illegally.
New Tiny Intel Chip Packs
Power of Supercomputer

Will be used in alarm clocks, egg timers.
Firestone Introduces New Tire
Inexpensive model aimed at thrifty-minded.
CONSUMER CORNER
300,000 Marquis de Sade
Torture Kits Recalled

Hundreds complain they were “not hurt at all” by device.
"Tomb Raider" Game Based on Movie Version Based on Game Released
Movie based on game in works; same for game based on that.
 
SPACE
FOUR NEW SATURNS DISCOVERED
But, astronomer cautions, there might have been problems with the telescope.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Latest Study: Vitamin C
May Cause Cancer

Drug companies anticipate “scurvy bonanza.”
 
CORRECTION
We recently erred in referring to “The
Petroleum Industry Public Relations Office, Lobbying Group & Line Dance Society.” The organization's preferred name is, “The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission.”

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