Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - JUNE 25 - JULY 1, 2001
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EDUCATION
 
  Armed Robbery Now Preferred Method Of Paying for College
Next: unarmed robbery, credit card fraud, forgery, identity theft.
 
SPORTS
Tiger Woods Loses U.S. Open
Some other guy wins it.
Barry Bonds on Record Pace
Could go entire season without speaking to reporters.
 
RELIGION
WHEATIES BOXES RECALLED
Danger of infants swallowing enclosed glowing dashboard Jesus toy.
EYE ON ART
BILLY COLLINS WINS POET LAUREATE POST
Survives dozens of local coffeehouse poetry slams on the way to winning
national championship; loses only one match throughout playoffs, a new record.

POSTAL SERVICE HONORS DIEGO RIVERA
New 34-cent stamp features artist's wife's self-portrait.
FASHION UPDATE: SUMMER'S HERE
And that means plenty of mosquitoes.

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 Copyright 2001 Ironic Times