Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - OCT. 29 - NOV. 4, 2001
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PEOPLE
“Mr. Magnet” Detained by Airport Security
Later, he's released on his own recognizance.
ENTERTAINMENT
Parents Outraged by Curse Words on New Britney Spears Album
“It's goddamned infuckingsensitive of her,” says one concerned mom.
Many Big Stars Say They're
Afraid to Attend Oscars

Worried they won't be allowed to talk about themselves.
Baton Rouge Anchorwoman
Wins Miss Newscaster Pageant

Has already received offers from all major networks.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
War Taking Its Toll on Nation's Psyche
“People will act out their insecurities in times of stress,” says noted psychiatrist (pictured on right).
THE FIGHT FOR FREEDOM
Profiles of Our New Allies: the Northern Alliance
Type of Government: Momentary agreement among war lords
Method of Governance: AK-47
Shared Ideals: AK-47
Human Rights Abuses: Rape, torture, ethnic persecution, burning of houses, murder of civilians, kidnapping children into military service, looting, summary executions
Why We Love Them: Will help us fight evil
 
ART
Fine Art Now a Familiar Fixture
On the Las Vegas Strip

France mulls slot machines at the Louvre.
 
ODDS AND ENDS
Historians From the Future Run
Into Futurists From the Past
They don't seem to hit it off.

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