Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO - DECEMBER 17 - 23, 2001
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ENTERTAINMENT
New Show Announced by Fox
No title or script yet; show still in “concept stage,” says spokesman.
Winona Ryder Arrested for Shoplifting
Will play herself in movie based on arrest of troubled actress who plays troubled young women, who gets in trouble.
NBC to Air Commercials
For Hard Liquor

Fox will begin running ads for heroin, but only after 10 PM.
 
PEOPLE
Bin Laden Wins “Bad Guy
Of the Year” Award

Easily outpolls Mullah Omar at annual bash in Beverly Hills.
Art Linkletter, 89, to Host New Show
Octogenarians Say the Darndest Things debuts “as soon as possible” on CBS.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Surgeon General Calls on All
Americans to Lose 10 lbs
.
But says you could stand to lose 20.
Artificial Heart Recipient Dies
Heart, however, is still ticking.
 
SCIENCE
BREAKTHROUGH
IN SPACE

Astronauts remove helmets, breathe normally with no ill effects.
 
RELIGION
Bush Lights Menorah at White House
Later, he lights cross on nearby lawn.
 
CORRECTION
  Photo below was misidentified as polygamist Tom Green and his wives Linda, LeAnn, Cari, Hannah and Shirley before he was sentenced to five years in prison for the practice. The identity of the people in the photo is unknown.

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