Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - APRIL 8 - 14, 2002
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PICTURE OF THE WEEK
A TRADITION CONTINUES
President and First Lady wave to the crowd at annual White House Easter Egg roll.
 
BOOKS
Saddam's Latest Novels Evoke Wide Range of Responses in Iraq
Some call them "brilliant," others "outstanding."
 
EDUCATION
Rutgers Study: 75% of High School Students Have Cheated, Plagiarized
However, many who cheat and plagiarize go on to win Pulitzers.
 
TRAVEL
Snowbirds Headed North
Buzzards, geezers, coots spotted in record numbers.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Assyrians Speak Out
The King and Queen of the Assyrian Empire declare themselves neutral in the current Mideast crisis.
SPORTS
Baseball: Billionaire Owners Complain About Millionaire Players
Millionaire players complain about billionaire owners.
 

With April 15 fast approaching, here are some valuable tips sure to save you time and money:
1) Shred all your receipts. They can't audit what they can't find.
2) Establish residency in the Cayman Islands, or make up some place like Slobovia (they rarely check).
3) Put aside a couple of hundred dollars in cash in case the IRS does come calling. These underpaid wretches aren't above looking the other way, if you know what I mean, and if you don't know what I mean then you probably don't need this advice.
4) Plead the fifth.

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