Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE - MAY 20 - 26, 2002
page two

SPORTS
Golfer Beheaded in Freak Mishap
Davis Love III "resting comfortably" after doctors reattach head.
Baseball: Bats Blamed for
Drop in Home Runs

Players filling them with lower-quality cork.
Baseball Strike Set for Early August
That's when the Androstenedione runs out.
Atlanta Braves Sign Cuban Hurler
"El Commandante" will pitch two games in Triple-A before being brought up to the big club.
LIFESTYLE
Baby Boomers Retiring, But Not Moving Far From Home
They're moving in with their parents.
EDUCATION
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA
SPURS SAT REFORM

Following are examples of questions which will appear on new SAT:

Osama bin Laden suffers from:
A) Hate, rage, intolerance, megalomania
B) Distant father syndrome
C) Low self-esteem

Frown furrows and smile wrinkles can best be treated by:
A) Meditation & yoga
B) Not smiling or frowning
C) Botox

Poor energy flow in a living room can be corrected by:
A) Moving all plants to east wall
B) Making sure TV is facing kitchen
C) Installing indoor fountain next to Barcalounger.
 

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2002 Ironic Times