Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE - JUNE 3 - 9, 2002 
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EDUCATION
Steven Spielberg Graduates From Cal State Long Beach
Hopes to become successful, show young people importance of B.A.degree.
LITERATURE
700 Newly Discovered Works by
James Joyce Obtained by
National Library of Ireland

Will make them available to all who want to say they read them.
 
SPORTS
Dodgers Annex Dominican Republic
Nation will remain in Caribbean for the time being.
Baseball Expected to Begin
Testing for Steroid Use

Also expected to move fences in 50 feet.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
 
  Bushes, Cheneys Relax at
Texas Ranch

Kick off summer vacation with game of horseshoes, followed by barbecue.

The Senate Banking Committee is considering two proposals to regulate the accounting practices which led to the Enron scandal. The Republican proposal, sponsored by Phil Gramm, is backed by:
A) Widows and orphans who lost their life savings as a result of the Enron meltdown.
B) The Coalition for Moral Leadership in Business and Government.
C) The Accounting Industry.
 
Which of the following was NOT legalized by the "Patriot Act":
A) "Black bag" searches of homes, offices, without showing search warrant.
B) Copying records of public libraries, credit card companies, banks, hospitals, hotels.
C) Wiretapping attorney-client phone calls without judicial approval.
D) Preemptive executions, if authorized by the Attorney General.
 
    Answers next week.

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