Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPT 30 - OCT 6, 2002
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MISCELLANEOUS
Economists Fear War Will Trigger Rise in Oil Prices
U.S. motorists prepare to cope with coming crisis.
SPORTS
Baseball: Shortage of Good Pitchers
Also: hitters, fielders, owners, fans.
Fan Who Attacked Kansas City Royals Coach Cites “Bush Doctrine”
Claims preemptive strike necessary to prevent coach from attacking fans.
Season Winds Down
Teams, players prepare for World Streaking Championships.
Baseball to Expand by Two Teams
One in Minnesota, the other in Montreal.
 
PICTURE OF THE WEEK
Floating City Proposed
Will eventually be home to two members of every species, says owner.
FACE-OFF:
KARL ROVE VS.
PAUL WOLFOWITZ
(Karl Rove is White House Senior Advisor; Paul Wolfowitz is Deputy Secretary of Defense.)
   Question: What should we do about
   Saddam Hussein?
Rove: We should invade Iraq and remove him from power. Tomorrow, if possible.
Wolfowitz: You're crazy. We should attack today, with all the weapons at our disposal.
Rove: Whoa! Why pussyfoot about "weapons at our disposal" – we should nuke the bastard!
Wolfowitz: Back to the Stone Age, you didn't mention.
Rove: And you didn't mention installing a government friendly to the United States.
Wolfowitz: What, and not take control of their oil fields? What have you been smoking?
(Ironic Times will periodically allow people with differing opinions to debate an important issue.)

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