Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 14 - 20, 2003
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PEOPLE
Britney Spears: “I'm Not a Virgin”
Tells W magazine she's been married three times, has five kids.
Bob Dylan Accused of Plagiarizing Lyrics From Book
But don't think twice, it's all right.
 
SPORTS
Baseball's All-Star Game: Traditional Gathering of Greatness
Each league's most overpaid crybabies “go through the motions” in low-rated summer snoozer.
Vancouver Gets 2010 Winter Olympics
Citing latest evidence of global warming, Canada adds beach volleyball to games.
 
ODDS AND ENDS
Garbage Pail Kids Return
Once reviled by parents, today they're considered role models.
SCENES OF SUMMER
  Beach Umbrella Expo Breaks All Attendance Marks
Apparently everybody wants to look at umbrellas.
Hot Dog Eating Champ Wins Again
He downs 305 Rolaids to capture third straight Rolaids Challenge.
Disney Relaxes Grooming Standards at Parks
Change allows pierced mouse ears.
Sun Explodes
Earth will experience dire effects in approximately eight minutes.

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