Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – AUGUST 25 - 31, 2003
page three

PEOPLE
Real Scooby-Doo Sues Hanna-Barbera for $400 Million
He wants percentage of all profits from TV shows, movies, ancillary products, advertising tie-ins.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Summer Success of “Queer
Eye for the Straight Guy” Has
TV Execs’ Attention

Show’s a hit with coveted demographic, elderly gay men.
 
BUSINESS
Treasury Secretary Wants
Consumers to Have Access
to Their Credit Reports

Mental health advocates strongly object.
Year Sets a Record for
Bankruptcies: 1,613,097

Bankruptcy lawyers break out the bubbly, predict next year will be even better.
 
MILESTONES
McDonald's Marks 50th Anniversary
To celebrate, every McDonald's will give away free liposuctions, angioplasties.
SCIENCE
Study: Humans Started Wearing
Clothes 70,000 Years Ago

About the same time the first nudists appeared.
Researchers Developing
DNA-Based Computers

They’ll be just like us, but a trillion times smarter.
 
TRENDS
Americans Seek Strategies
To Slow Aging Process
  Cosmetic surgery most popular, selling soul to Satan is next.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Human Heart Cells Working in Rat Hearts at Geron Corp.
Rat heart cells working in humans at White House.
Research Reveals Eggs Prefer Mutant Sperm to Healthy Competitors
Eggs explain mutant sperm have a certain "je ne sais quoi."
Study: Stress, Boredom, Spending Money Lead Teens to Drugs
Result: teens relieved of stress, boredom, spending money.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2003 Ironic Times