Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – NOVEMBER 10 - 16
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MILESTONES
World's Oldest Woman, 116, Dies After Receiving Guinness Certification
Her final words: “Please take that certificate off of me.”
 
PUBLISHING
Earliest Copy of Chaucer's “Canterbury Tales” Put Online
Restraining order issued in 1399 on behalf of Wife of Bath finally lifted.
 
SPORTS
Women's Pro Soccer League Signs Lucrative 3-Year Deal With Fox
Agreement includes live feeds from locker room, showers.

State Boards of Education have been under pressure to rewrite Biology textbooks to include material about Intelligent Design as an alternate explanation for evolution. In case that happens, I've been working on a rewrite of my own: "In the beginning, about 13 billion years ago, God created the quantum gravity barrier. And the weak nuclear force was upon the face of the deep. And God divided it into matter and antimatter, with a slight asymmetry in favor of matter. And God said, Let there be a Quark-hadron transition, and there was a Quark-hadron transition. And He called the particles baryons. And when the universe had cooled to 3,000 billion degrees Kelvin, God created hadrons and leptons and helium and hydrogen. And God saw that it was good." Of course it's still a work-in-progress, but kids have to learn about science somewhere!

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