Ironic Times

 NO. 177 "Expect the Ironic" FEBRUARY 2 - 8, 2004 

Jan 26
Feb 9
  MIME TROOPS ADDED TO COALITION FORCES IN IRAQ
 
  They'll help disperse large crowds.
 
WORLD NEWS
Report: Saddam Doled Out Lucrative Oil Contracts to Hundreds of Friends
Dick Cheney says he is "shocked."
Canada's Supreme Court:
Spanking Acceptable

As long as it's done in a private club between consenting adults.
 
PEOPLE
Prince Charles Defends Ancestor, "Mad King George"
Says he was no crazier than current royals.
U. S. NEWS
Kay: Everyone Was Wrong
Except maybe Hans Blix and a few billion others with half a brain.
Supreme Court to Review Death Penalty for Teens
Expected to approve it, as long as it doesn't interfere with homework.
Iraqis Will Send Experts to America
Team will determine if free elections are feasible in November.
 
REMINDER
  Turn off your camera phone when
  you go to the bathroom.
 
Bush Names Head of White House Office of Holy Matrimony
Brother Neil will take over after Asian hooker incidents, paternity issue with mistress, messy divorce case are resolved.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
U.S. Blocks UN Plan to
Combat Obesity

Plan rejected as insulting to sugar industry and two-thirds of all Americans.
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