Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – FEBRUARY 16 - 22, 2004
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MISCELLANEOUS
Humanoids Complain of Long Wait for Repairs
Parts shortage is to blame, say mad scientists.
 
RELIGION
Protestant Church Makes Surprise
Bid for Catholic Church

Resulting merger would create biggest organized religion, in terms of revenues.
 
SPORTS
Swimsuits Illustrated Annual Sports Issue Again Rouses Readers' Ire
“Why must you put pictures of baseball and football players in a magazine devoted to swimsuits?” complains one angry subscriber.
FEATURE
Employment in the "jobless recovery" will improve when
A )Wages in Bangalore, India rise to approach American standards.
B )Permanent elimination of estate tax creates hiring boom for family farmers and small businesses.
C )Americans land on Mars, discover gold, generate new jobs for prospectors, saloon keepers.
D )Wages in America sink to approach standards in Bangalore, India.
 
ODDS AND ENDS
National Reading Standards for Cats Urged
Many cats in 8th grade reading at 4th grade level.

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