Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – MARCH 1 - 7, 2004
page three

PEOPLE
Paris Hilton Directed Her Sex Video, Say Court Papers
Also improvised her own dialogue and performed her own stunts.
Fidel Castro Makes Forbes List Of World's Wealthiest People
But declines to share his investment strategies.
 
BUSINESS
Chairman of Smith & Wesson Quits After Reports He Committed String of Armed Robberies in '50s and '60s
Letter of resignation expresses high regard for company and its products.
Victoria's Secret Reports 4th Quarter Earnings Up 10%
Company produced more lingerie with same amount of fabric.
SCIENCE
Half of All Languages Face
Extinction This Century

Last century over one hundred lost, including English.
 
RELIGION
Study: 4,392 Priests Did Not
Commit Sexual Abuse

Vatican says survey may understate actual number who never misbehaved.
 
BOOKS
Last Week's Best Sellers (Fiction)
1. I Remember George (gripping account of one man's service in the Alabama National guard alongside George W. Bush)
2. Good-bye, Bessie (tragic story of small, family farm lost due to estate tax)
3. Yes, We Are Hiring (inspiring tale of small businessman able to hire due to tax cuts)
4. Praise Jesus, We Learnin' Now (How the No Child Left Behind Bill helped one poor student get a great education)
5. On the Run (Fanatical Pakistani terrorist is so demoralized by America's triumph in Iraq, he founds Islamabad chapter of Young Republicans)

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2004 Ironic Times