Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUG 30 - SEPT 5, 2004
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PEOPLE
Regis Philbin Establishes Milestone
According to Guinness Book of World Records, Philbin's been on TV “way too long.”
ENTERTAINMENT
TV: Rival Boxing, Wife-Swapping,
Makeover Shows Agree to
Settle Differences

They'll let judges on rival courtroom shows decide.
 
PUBLISHING
Wired Magazine to Stop Capitalizing "Internet," "Web," "Net"
Will start capitalizing "Bubble," "Burst," "Bust."
 
BUSINESS
Oil Prices Drop as Iraq Oil
Production Resumes

Opium Prices Drop as Afghan Opium Production Resumes.
Aussie Invents Car That Runs On Air
But world could run out of air, caution big three carmakers.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
One in Three U.S. Lakes
Contain Polluted Fish.

EPA advises public to eat one-third less fish.
Study: Patients Taking Vioxx
Three Times More Likely to
Suffer Sudden Cardiac Death

But with significantly reduced arthritis pain.
 
Salk Institute's Genetically Engineered Mouse Has More Stamina
But institute's genetically engineered cat has no trouble keeping up with it.
 
SCIENCE
Study: Ice Towers on Mars
Could Harbor Life

Possibly a beautiful ice maiden, who lives in the tower and has never seen a man before, speculates one researcher.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Bush Sets New Records for
Wilderness Act Land Protection

Fewest protected acres, most drilling, logging, mining permits.

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