Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPT 27 - OCT 3, 2004
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PEOPLE
After One Week, Britney Spears “Disillusioned” With Married Life
“I didn't realize how much sacrifice, commitment, and selflessness was involved,” she tells Britney Magazine.
 
HIGH TECH
Poll: Half of All Internet Users Say They Can't Live Without It
Other half waiting to talk to tech support.
 
SPORTS
Hockey: NHL Shutdown Hurts
Many Economically

But mostly dentists.
 
FASHION
Esquire: Outkast's Andre 3000 Voted World's Best Dressed Man
Beats out boxing promoter Don King and funnyman Marty Allen.
The CIA's National Intelligence Estimate on Iraq lists "dissolution into civil war" as the "worst-case scenario." What does the CIA list as the "best-case scenario"?
A )“U.S. Troops showered with rose petals amidst joyous dancing in the streets.”
B )“U.S. Ambassador escorted by host of angels directly into heaven to sit on the right hand of God.”
C )“Continued instability.”
 
EDUCATION
Report: Obese Kids Cost
Schools Millions

But bullies' taunts can get them to shed extra pounds.
Bad News: College Affordability
At New Low

Good news: college degrees almost worthless.
 
ODDS AND ENDS
"War on Poverty" Declared Over
Poor agree to surrender.

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