Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – NOVEMBER 8 - 14, 2004
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ENTERTAINMENT
Reality Show Will Document
Talent Search for Next
“Saturday Night Live” Stars

Current stars will grudgingly help find their replacements.
New Reality Show Debuts on Fox
“My Big Fat Obnoxious Dominatrix” pits eight hopefuls (shown) competing for her approval.
 
HIGH TECH
New Camera-Phone With Night Vision Allows Users to See Through Clothing
Due to high demand, there's a twelve year waiting list.
 
POLITICS
Top Reasons Why Democrats Should Not Commit Suicide
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Medical Marijuana Approved by Majority of Western States
But it's cheaper in Canada.
Researchers Announce New Drug May Block Alzheimer's
However, they can't remember which one.
 
SCIENCE
Report: Federally Approved
Stem Cells Tainted With
Mouse Material

But no more than what's allowable in hot dogs.
New Data Disk Made From Corn
Corn made from bioengineered genetic material.
            Event Will be blamed on  
  1.   Iraq slides into endless, bloody chaos. Bush  
  2.   U.S. standing in world plummets. Bush  
  3.   Economy sinks into another recession. Bush  
  4.   Terrorist attacks. Bush  
  5.   New TV shows stink. Bush  

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