Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – NOVEMBER 8 - 14, 2004
page two

MEDIA
Foreign Press Reacts to Bush Victory
From Le Monde's "Sacre Bleu!" to "Nacht! Nacht! Nacht!" in Der Spiegel, most were negative.
 
BUSINESS
Mexico: Wal-Mart Built Close to Sacred Shrine Jeered, Cheered
Many call it sacrilegious; others like its low prices on religious relics.
 
SPORTS
Redskins Happy With Election Results
Team never loses Sunday after incumbent wins, as they roll over Detroit, 17-10.
 
PEOPLE
Second Term Chatter: Barney May Be Replaced
British Prime Minister Tony Blair's name has come up.
Whither the Democratic Party?

In the wake of the latest election fiasco, leading Democrats are debating what adjustments to make. Here are the leading possibilities:

1. Reach out to social conservatives by embracing a pro-life, pro-gun, pro religion-in-the-schools, anti-gay, anti- evolution agenda, rename party the “Me, Too Party.”

2. Reach out to neo-conservatives by embracing a unilateralist, preemptive war strategy, find somebody who's never been in a war to explain it.

3. Reach out to business community with anti-tax, anti-regulation, anti-environment agenda financed by massive borrowing, rename party the “Federalist-Whig Party.”

4. Wait until tax on capital gains is abolished (sometime early February), sell the fabulous new Democratic Party headquarters building to the Republican Party (they can afford it), divvy up the profit and skip town.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2004 Ironic Times