Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEB 28 - MAR 6, 2005
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BUSINESS
Krispy Kreme Subject of Federal Investigation
Company blames probe on sugar rush to justice.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
TV: Gay Wedding On “Simpsons” Episode Draws Harsh Criticism
Some call for constitutional ban on animated same-sex marriage.
 
MAN OF THE WEEK
William H.T. Bush

Uncle Bucky, as he's affectionately known to his nephew, President Bush, is now Rich Uncle Bucky, being on the board of Engineered Support Systems Inc., which won the contract to provide additional armor for troops in Iraq. After exercising options on 8,438 shares of stock suddenly worth $450,000, Uncle Bucky can now afford the best table at the next White House prayer breakfast.
SCIENCE
European Space Agency
Scientists Think There Was,
May Still Be Life on Mars

Queen of Spain agrees to finance voyage to mysterious red planet.
 
5300-Year-Old Stone Age Man Speaks
Says he's honored to be picked to head White House science office.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
New Health Guidelines Issued by Government
Drink lots of coffee, wine, eat plenty of chocolate.
 
HIGH TECH
Sony Online Game “Everquest II” Has Automatic Pizza Ordering Feature
Also has crank call feature that orders pizza for somebody who doesn't want it.
 
ODDS 'N ENDS
Solid Gold Toilet Goes on Public Display
Worth $5 million, it was originally built for U. S. Army.

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