Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – FEB 28 - MAR 6, 2005
page two

PEOPLE
Reporter “Jeff Gannon” of “Talon News” Returns to White House Beat
He's now James D. Guckert of Gay Male Escort News and has obtained proper credentials.
 
SPORTS
Baseball: Training Camps Open in Florida, Arizona
Fans show up to see their favorite stars inject themselves in the buttocks with powerful muscle-enhancing steroids.
NBA Trading Report: Troublemakers Swapped for Malcontents
And cash.
 
Conservative activists have targeted which dangerous organization for wanting to promote gay marriage, harm our soldiers and tear down our values?
A ) North American Man Boy Love Association
B ) Socialist Workers Party
C ) Al Qaeda
D ) AARP
THE WAR
Bush Gets Offers From All
26 NATO Members to Train
Iraqi Security Forces

Some step up with major pledges.
 
France: Will train military chefs in Paris.
Germany: Open invitation to Berlin Institute of Traffic Circle Design.
Italy: Scholarships for study of Early Renaissance Art in Florence.
Poland: Training for Green Zone Beautification Team.
Spain: Semester abroad at School of Flamenco Dance in Barcelona.
Sweden: Train Iraqis in the use of light and shadow in depressing films.
 
LAW
Supreme Court Rejects
Challenge to Alabama Law
Banning Sale of Sex Toys

“If you want a dildo, go to Idaho,” writes Justice Thomas for the majority.
 
CHESS
World Chess Rankings Released
Top five players unchanged from last time.
1. Deep Thought II
2. Deep Blue
3. Deep Thought I
4. Deep Blue Thought
5. Garry Kasparov (shown).

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2005 Ironic Times