Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JUNE 6 - 12, 2005
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ALSO IN THE NEWS . . .
Signing Gorilla Chimes in on Evolution Debate
“If these ignorant Creationists are right, the zoos should be full of cavemen,” Koko (shown) tells reporters.
 
LAW
Supreme Court Overturns Arthur Andersen Conviction
Then shreds opinion.
 
TOYS
Pope Benedict XVI Doll Goes on Sale in Germany
Talking version says “Don't' have sex” in five languages.
 
SPORTS
First Home Run Hit in Major
Leagues This Season

Batter will be tested for steroids.
 
TRAVEL
Austrian Resort Offers Beer Baths
With unlimited refills.
FEATURE
The State Department has placed Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Qatar and the United Arab Emirates on the list of Gulf States which
A ) have done the most to help spread freedom.
B ) have proved most valuable to the United States in the global war on terrorism.
C ) have done the most to keep down the price of oil.
D ) have done the least to stop international human trafficking in slave labor, soldiers, prostitutes and the child sex trade.
 Hint: Nobody's perfect.

Christopher Cox, Bush's nominee to head the SEC, authored a groundbreaking law which
A ) makes it easier for grandmothers and orphans to protect their savings from corporations and their accountants who devise con games to rob them.
B ) makes it easier for corporations and their accountants to rob grandmothers and orphans, hide fraudulent accounting practices and escape liability when fraud is exposed.
 Hint: Can you spell "Enron"?

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