Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JUNE 13 - 19, 2005
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MILESTONES
UK Couple Marks 80th Wedding Anniversary
Shown: happy couple smiling for photographers, just days before filing for divorce.
 
BUSINESS
GM to Cut 25,000 Jobs
Will stop making cars, concentrate on more profitable repair business.
 
ADVERTISING
Ronald McDonald to Get
Healthy Makeover

He'll be slimmer, more active and eating anywhere but McDonald's.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
TV: Planned Update of “Hogan's Heroes” Set in Guantanamo
Producers looking for “funny Arabs and bumbling Americans.”
 
MEDIA
 
Over 2,200 Journalists Covering Jackson Trial
As soon as it's over, they'll look at U.S. prisoner abuse, fixed intel memo.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Laughter Helps Lose Weight
To begin shedding pounds, read this study.
 
SCIENCE
Project to Simulate Human
Brain Begins

Goal is to create virtual brain that can take over project.
Mars Rover Freed From Sand Trap
Falls into water hazard.
 
Fate of Talking Tree Still in Doubt
Those who want it chopped down call it “an unsettling presence.”
 
BOOKS
Survey: 81% of Americans
Want to Write A Book

.081% want to read one.
 
CORRECTION
We recently reported that a scientist in the White House Council on Environmental Quality had altered a former oil company lobbyist's report to better reflect the consensus of the scientific community on global warming. In fact, it was a former oil company lobbyist in the CEQ who altered a report from scientists to better reflect the consensus of oil company lobbyists on global warming. We regret the error.

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