Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JULY 11 - 17, 2005
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PEOPLE
Rehnquist Hurt In Fall
Slips on Justice Scalia's banana peel.
Japanese Man Recites Pi to 83,431 Decimal Places From Memory
Also recites from memory only phone number in his address book.
 
MEDIA
Columnist Bob Novak Reveals
More Names of CIA Agents

Judge sends more New York Times reporters to jail.
 
BUSINESS
Saudi Arabia Says OPEC Won't
Be Able to Meet Demand for
Oil After 2015

If you're buying a new car and plan to keep it ten years, be sure it also runs on coal.
McDonald's Changing
Design of Uniform

Adding several inches to the waist and rump.
Swiss Develop World's Most Economical Car
Self-winding Bulova Gran Turisimo.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Rich People Suffer Less
Before Death Than Poor People

But more after.
Medicare Will No Longer
Cover Valium

Announcement causes spike in valium prescriptions.
 
SCIENCE
Report: Sea Levels Rising
Public urged to stand on tiptoes.
Footprints in Mexico Show Humans Were Here 30,000 Years Earlier Than Thought
Footprints lead to Arizona border.
 
WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
Curveball

The man who was the primary source of intelligence that led the U.S. to invade Iraq, Curveball is today living “comfortably” at an undisclosed location in the Middle East. He still maintains ties with the CIA, as well as old friend Ahmad Chalabi, whom he jokingly refers to as “The cat with nine lives.” Any regrets? “I should have asked for more money,” he laughs.

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