Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – SEPTEMBER 19 - 25, 2005
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PEOPLE
Vice President Cheney to
Undergo Operation

During procedure, George W. Bush will be in charge.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Female Video Game Characters Bare All in October Playboy
Seven of them move into Playboy mansion computer.
 
BUSINESS
Private Company Plans to Mine
Mars for Valuable Resources

Private Martian firm considers similar venture on Earth.
Limited Production Begun on 1,001- Horsepower $1.24 Million Bugatti
Floor mats optional.
SCIENCE
Software That Decodes Sounds
Made by Computer Keys
Presents Security Risk

Public advised to communicate in Navajo code talk.
 
PUBLISHING
Top Magazines to Read In the Oval Office Waiting Room
   1.    Incompetence Today
   2.    Callous Disregard Monthly
   3.    Unscientific American
   4.    Modern Interrogation
   5.    Greed, Stupidity & Discrimination Review
   6.    Conquest Magazine
   7.    Religious Intolerance Digest
   8.    Mountaintop Removal Quarterly
   9.    Avarice Weekly
  10.    Contemporary Conspicuous Consumption
 
ENVIRONMENT
Climatologists Fear We've
Passed the Point of No Return
On Global Warming

Advice: eat, drink and be merry.

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