Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – FEBRUARY 13 - 19, 2006
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PEOPLE
Restraining Order Issued Against Paris Hilton
Man seeks relief from constant images, gossip, videos of celebrity.
 
EDUCATION
Parents, Teachers Agree Kids Not
Overburdened With Homework

Kids agree parents, teachers not overburdened with health, housing costs.
 
BUSINESS
Rumor: Google Planning Own Internet
It'll be identical to current one, except no links to Yahoo.
Report: Financial Scams to
Proliferate as Boomers Age

Gen Xers, Gen Yers “licking their chops,” says one expert.
 
NEW PRODUCTS
Sports Bra Monitors Heart Rate
Originally designed for dating, it's now being sold for athletic use.
SCIENCE
25,000-Year-Old Cave Drawings
Found in France

Depicts angry diner trying to get waiter's attention.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: No Benefit to Low-Fat Diet
Finding triggers worldwide celebrations.
 
 
McDonald's Reveals Fries Contain 33% More Trans Fats Than Previously Thought
Advises customers to eat two supersize servings instead of three.
 
CORRECTION
 
We reported last week that after committing to alternate energy to wean our country from its addiction to oil, President Bush acted promptly to increase the budget for wind and biomass research at the National Renewable Energy Research Laboratory. In fact, the president acted promptly to increase the military budget, but cut the budget for the National Renewable Energy Research Laboratory, causing layoffs of researchers in wind and biomass energy. We regret any confusion caused by our mistake.

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