Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 17 - 23, 2006
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ENTERTAINMENT
Iran's Announcement That
It Has Enriched Uranium
Headed for Broadway
 
  Combining music, dance, a little comedy and capsules of uranium hexafluoride, “it's got it all,” says one investor.
Winnie The Pooh Gets Star on Hollywood Blvd.
In emotional speech, thanks lawyers, takes swipe at Michael Eisner.
TV: Fox News Pundits Debate
Bush Legacy, Disagree on
Greatest Achievement

One argues it's his “popular Medicare drug program,” another his “bringing democracy to the Middle East,” yet another insists it's his “brilliant stewardship of the nation's economy.”
 
BUSINESS
Government Subcontractors
Using Illegal Immigrants at
Construction Sites

Government will arrest, prosecute itself for felony under new law.
London Restaurant Offers $150 Sandwich
Pharmacy next door will sell you $30 roll of Tums.
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Researchers Find Genetic
Connection to Obesity

Random DNA samples taken at three different Krispy Kreme outlets confirm link.
 
SCIENCE
Champion Horse Sires Five
Identical Clones

Breeder will now turn attention to jockeys.
Ancient Fossils Found in Ethiopia
Fill Gap in Early Human Evolution

Between Creationism and Intelligent Design.
 
 
Genetic Engineering Reaping Results
In Kansas, farmers raise world's largest chicken (not shown).
 
CORRECTION
 
We mistakenly reported that the Democratic party was running ads on Spanish-language radio in Arizona, Nevada and New Mexico blaming Republicans for the punitive Immigration Bill written by Republicans, opposed by Democrats and passed by the Republican-controlled House. In fact, it is the Republican party which is running ads blaming Democrats for the punitive Immigration Bill written by Republicans, opposed by Democrats and passed by the Republican-controlled House. We regret any confusion caused by our error.

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