Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – MAY 29 - JUNE 4, 2006
page two

MISCELLANEOUS
Oregon: Nuclear Plant Destroyed
To make way for glow-in-the-dark mall.
Study: Cellphones, Laptops on Planes Can Disrupt Cockpit Instruments, Including GPS Devices Used in Landing
Passengers urged not to make calls unless they are very important.
 
LAW
High Court: OK for Police to Enter
Party Without Knocking in Emergency

Like a lot of hot babes inside.
 
FEATURE
The installation of Iraq's National Unity Government signals a new era for that troubled country because
A ) all the many Shiite, Sunni and Kurd militias can finally unite together against the government.
B ) officials can at last get down to the serious business of dividing up the different areas of graft, corruption and bribery.
C ) now there's a responsible entity to administer the civil war.
Hint: It's so much less confusing when you know whom to bribe.


Out with the bad, in with the worse. Here's a sneak peek at some new network offerings for next season:

“I've Got a Secret” (CBS): An updated classic game show featuring corporate whistleblowers who snitch on their employer. A panel of “personalities” tries to determine who's the boss.
“Celebrity Chef Dance Contest & Supermodel Poker Tour” (NBC): Nothing's missing from this shameless, schlocky smorgasbord, except entertainment.
“Tales From the NSA” (ABC): Highly personal dramas drawn from over 800 billion phone conversations.
“Product Place” (Fox): Yet another racy primetime sudser, with hot, horny housewives surrounded by brand names.

(Mr. TV threw out his television and will no longer be writing this column.)
 
MUSIC
Fiddle Goes for $3.54 Million
Washboard, jug thrown in to close deal.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2006 Ironic Times