Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – AUGUST 14 - 20, 2006
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PEOPLE
Hillary Clinton's Official Bust Unveiled at National Portrait Gallery
Tribute commissioned by Karl Rove.
Lieberman to Run as Independent
Stakes out nonpartisan, middle ground between the Far Right and the Ultra Right.
 
LAW
15 States Have Ratified Laws
Allowing Citizens to Shoot in
Self-Defense

Like if something's moving in another room.
 
BUSINESS
Krispy Kreme to Open in China
In plan hatched by U.S. Defense Department.
Man Sues Tobacco Companies for $30 Billion
Plaintiff (shown) blames them for his health problems.
SCIENCE
Universe Larger Than Previously Thought
But box it's in is smaller.
Supercomputers Provide Proof
Of Global Warming

Then overheat, catch fire.
 
 
Increasingly Rare Panda Celebrates Birthday With Cake
Scientists blame dwindling panda population on increased exposure to sugars, saturated fats.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: White Collar Workers With Job Stress Have Increased Blood Pressure
And nice cars.
 
CORRECTION
 
We reported that the four giant companies awarded controversial no-bid contracts to house Katrina victims had been excluded from the bidding on new contracts due to massive cost overruns, current estimates having ballooned from the original $400 million to $3.4 billion. In fact, these companies have been awarded new contracts for future disasters. We apologize for any confusion due to our mistake.

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