Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – OCTOBER 16 - 22, 2006
page two

LIFESTYLE
Study: Women Dress More Revealingly When Ovulating
Men dress more revealingly during playoffs.
 
WAR ON TERROR
  Profiles from the Department of
Homeland Security's Potential
Terrorist Target List
  Potential Target:   Old MacDonald's Petting Zoo  
  Location:   Woodville, Alabama  
  Which Is:   Between Gurley and Scotsboro, 25 miles east of Huntsville  
  # of Bomb Threats:   Zero, (as of today's date)  
  Primary Target:   Hayride, picnic area, gift shop, playground  
  Secondary Target:   Goat, llama, deer, sheep, pig feeding areas  
  Fun Fact:   Terrorists can schedule family birthday parties before attacks  
  Next week's profile:   Sweetwater Flea Market, Sweetwater, Tennessee  
FEATURE
The biggest news last week in Britain was a claim that the continuing presence of British forces in Iraq was making things worse for both Iraq and Britain. Who said it?
A )The leader of the peace movement in Britain.
B )The former cabinet minister who resigned in protest of the war.
C )Prince Andrew, while drunk in a pub.
D )The Chief of British Military Forces.
Hint: “Dog bites man” is not news.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Survey: 20% Believe The Living Can Communicate With The Dead
Only 8% of the dead believe they can communicate with the living.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week, we erroneously referred to "the apparent resumption of dialogue between the United States and North Korea." It should have read, "the apparent resumption of dialogue between Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie." We apologize for the mistake.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2006 Ironic Times