Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 23 - 29, 2007
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PEOPLE
Former Rolling Stone Bill Wyman Signs on As Spokesman for Metal Detector
Says they're great for finding old coke spoons.
Asia’s Richest Woman Leaves Everything to Fortune Teller
As predicted.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Movies: 19 Remakes
Scheduled for '07

Those who don't care for remakes can go to Broadway revivals.
 
BUSINESS
Microsoft Sells Only 224 Copies of
Windows Vista in China

Seems everyone already has it.
Wal-Mart Passes Exxon, Regains Top Spot on Fortune 500
Exxon hopes for comeback with next big war, natural disaster.
SCIENCE
Project Begun to Catalogue Every Species on Earth
Then sell mailing list to extraterrestrials.
New Research: Chimps More
Evolved Than Humans

Apes may be descended from us.
 
Swan in Chinese Zoo Feeds Its Fish “Friends”
Although zookeepers are “skeptical” of its motives.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Poll: 96% Want Government
To Mandate Safety Info on
All Medicines

White House will wait until public's “100% sure.”
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Japan Recalls 180,000 Toilets
Which Can Catch on Fire

If any gas is released.

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