Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 2 - 8, 2007
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MISCELLANEOUS
Construction of Cheddar Cheese Mt. Rushmore Begins
Shown: scale model of what will eventually be world's largest cheese monument.
 
WAR ON TERROR
Jose Padilla's Application for
Al Qaeda Training Unsealed

Presented as evidence at his trial.
 
APPLICATION FOR AL QAEDA TRAINING
(Please answer all questions)
1. How did you hear about Al Qaeda?
2. In what ways do you intend to bring death to unbelievers?
3. What was the last year of education you completed?
4. Why do you hate freedom?
5. Are you willing to relocate?
6. How does your background qualify you to help restore the Caliphate?
7. What special skills can you bring to the Al Qaeda organization?
KIDZ KORNER
Write Your Own News Story
Just Fill In the Blanks


____, a prominent Republican ____ and dependable Bush ally on the war for __ years, said today our policy wasn’t working and we should leave. Surrounded by ____, ____, and _____, also former war supporters, he said we should be out by ___. White House spokesperson ____ said Bush considered ____ a fine ___ , but would not be changing policy. General ___ and Admiral ____ also said on ____ that the situation in Iraq was now ____. A military leader to counter the criticism could not be located.
 
TRENDS
U.S. Prison Population Has Biggest Rise in Six Years
Jails flooded with crooked lobbyists, corrupt politicians, wayward celebutantes.
 
ALSO IN THE NEWS
Naked Cyclists Take to Streets in England
Protest lack of Naked Cyclist lanes.

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