Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – SEPTEMBER 24 - 30, 2007
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CURRENCY
New Design for Five-Dollar Bill Unveiled
Anti-counterfeiting features include pastel colors, security threads, embedded sound chip that plays recording of Raymond Massey reading Gettysburg Address.
 
MISCELLANEOUS
Study: We Spend One Week
Per Year in Traffic

The one after Thanksgiving.
Census Bureau: Majority of Marriages End Before 25 Years
Most common reason: forgetting 24th anniversary.
 
MILESTONES
Creator of Digital Smiley Face Celebrates Its 25th Birthday
His cheery, ubiquitous e-mail symbol has replaced all human discourse.
FEATURE
Which one of the civil wars we started in Iraq is going relatively better now?
  A )Sunni vs. Shia
  B ) Sunni vs. Sunni
  C ) Shia vs. Shia
  D ) Kurd vs. Kurd
  E ) Kurd vs. Arab
Hint: if you picked any of the above, guess again.
 
CONSUMER NEWS
Latest Trend: Theft of GPS
Devices From Cars

Stolen devices then provide thieves flawless directions to nearest pawn shops.
 
SPORTS
Study: Playing Soccer Healthier
Than Jogging

But jogging's more fun to watch.

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