Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 3 - 9, 2007
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PEOPLE
Report: New York Taxpayers Footed Bill For Giuliani’s Extramarital Affair
But not his cross-dressing.
 
KIDZ KORNER
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The White House has cleared itself of any wrongdoing in its internal investigation of charges of ___, ____, and _____. After reviewing and then destroying ___ memos and ____ emails concerning the matters, ____, who was appointed as Special Inspector by ____, a target of the investigation, closed his office and had his computer melted down for scrap metal. ____, Chairman ___of the Senate ___ Committee, demanded the records pertaining to the ___ investigation, but ___ refused to turn them over, citing national security, executive privilege and “no do-overs.” In addition, he explained that the records no longer exist. He then announced he would be taking a job in the private sector at the ____ corporation, one of the groups prominently featured in the investigation, and accused of _____.
MISCELLANEOUS
New Theory: Lincoln Had Rare Disease
Genetic disorder drove him to be honest.
One in Four Americans Read
No Books Last Year

But average American read over 10,000 text messages.
New Report Links High Credit Card Debt to Medical Expenses
Would mean drug, banking, insurance companies all benefit at the expense of consumers, an unlikely scenario.
 
ODDS 'N' ENDS
Man Busted With $1 Million Bill
By alert cashier at 7-11.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week, in a report on Trent Lott's announcement that he would resign his Senate seat in several weeks, we quoted him as saying he hoped to take advantage of his Beltway connections to make a "ton of money" in the private sector. His actual words were "shitload of money." We apologize for the confusion.

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