Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – JANUARY 7 - 13, 2008
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PEOPLE
  Nixon Center Honorees Announced
Britney Spears, Michael Vick, Dennis Miller, Pervez Musharraf and Alberto Gonzales will be feted at annual gala in Washington.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Writers Strike Forces Networks to Scramble for Unscripted Programs
Here's a preview of what's in store for viewers:
  “Celebrity Staring Contest” (CBS): Who'll blink first, Danny Bonaduce or La Toya Jackson?
  “Wet Paint” (ABC): A freshly painted wall dries, right before our eyes.
  “IBM Presents” (NBC): An anthology of brand new dramas, comedies and TV movies, written by Deep Blue.
  “One Year Ago Today” (Fox): Whatever was on exactly one year ago.
  “Seeded Lawn” (CW): From the producers of “Wet Paint,” grass grows, right before our eyes.
SCIENCE
Brit Study: Let Young Boys
Play With Toy Guns

And let little girls go shopping.
Report: Drivers on Cellphones Cause
Traffic Delays, Prolong Your Commute

Yet another reason to shoot them.
 
Researchers: Monkeys “Pay” for Sex
Backdates emergence of “oldest profession” by several million years.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Hospitals Riskier Than Other
Places for Heart Attack Victims

Best place to go: nearest casino.
Study: Wealthy, Insured Get
Free Drug Samples

Sell them on eBay to poor, uninsured.
 
TRENDS
FBI: Hate Crime Up 8% in 2007
Percentage of those who hate crime unchanged.

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