Ironic Times

page one
PAGE THREE – FEBRUARY 11 - 17, 2008
page two

MISCELLANEOUS
“Euros Only” Signs Becoming More Common in New York
American currency still handy as used gum wrapper.
Report: Thousands of Teens
Working as Unpaid Baggers in
Mexican Wal-Marts

Vying for opportunity to become underpaid cashiers.
 
SPORTS
Report: Roger Clemens’s Wife Also Injected With Hormones as She Prepped for Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Photos
Another role model tainted.
Unused Patriots “Championship” Gear Sent to Developing Countries
Kids in Ghana still think Chicago won last year's game.
NFL Draft Preview: Size, Youth Top Teams' Wish Lists
Combination of both “would be ideal,” says one GM.
FEATURE
The White House has again asserted that torture can be used by our government if there’s “belief that an attack is imminent.” Whose belief that an attack is imminent are they talking about?
A ) Curveball’s belief, based on his own imagination.
B ) Another detainee’s belief, based on being tortured.
C ) Bush’s belief, based on voices inside his head.
D ) Cheney’s belief, based on reports from Satan.
E ) Some guy’s belief, who just totally believes it.
Hint: Curveball isn’t always available, evidence from people we’re torturing isn’t always accurate, the voices aren’t always talking and Satan might not want to warn us.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Knee-Brace Harnesses Power of
Walking to Generate Electricity

Which powers backpack beer cooler.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2008 Ironic Times