Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 26 - JUNE 1, 2008
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PEOPLE
Clinton Tries to Energize Base
Campaign concentrates on working-class Catholics, hillbillies, yentas for final push.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
“Good Morning, America” Names
“Seven Wonders of America”

Including that “Good Morning, America” is still on the air.
 
BUSINESS
Ford Drops Goal of Becoming
Profitable By 2009

New goal: federal bailout.
Higher Fuel Prices Force Airlines to Cut Back on Service, Amenities
Say goodbye to trouble-free boarding, roomy, comfortable seating and delicious hot meals.
Missouri Car Dealer Offering Free Gun With Every Vehicle Sold
And “no haggling.”
SCIENCE
Study: Sunscreen Lotion Threatens
Coral Reefs Near Tourist Beaches

Do the planet a favor: just stay home.
Mars Probe Successfully Lands on Red Planet
Photo (right) courtesy Martian News Service.
 
Real Death Star Could Destroy Earth With Cosmic Ray Blast
Authorities urge calm.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study Identifies Popcorn as “Whole Grain” Health Food
Calls Twizzlers “an important part” of a balanced diet.
White House Report: Pot Can
Lead to Dependency, Mental
Illness, Suicidal Thoughts

And bigger Democratic majority in Congress.

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