Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MAY 26 - JUNE 1, 2008
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MISCELLANEOUS
Americans Turning to Public Transportation as Gas Prices Soar
Many find it cheaper and, in some cases, more convenient.
Man Dies After Ingesting Toad
Venom as Aphrodisiac

Ask your doctor if toad venom is right for you.
 
CAMPAIGN '08
GOP Goes Into Presidential Campaign Holding Big Advantage
They have 300 tons of mud on hand, Dems only 100.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Exotic Unstoppable Ants
Taking Over Houston

Pest control experts, horror movie producers converge on area.
 
SPORTS
San Francisco Wax Museum Removes Wax Likeness of Barry Bonds
Replaces it with Barry Bonds.
FEATURE
Karl Rove will testify before the House Judiciary Committee:
  A ) after he has carefully considered the subpoena he just got from them.
  B ) if he can work it into his busy schedule as a pundit.
  C ) when pigs fly out of his ass.
  Hint: oink.

The proliferation of secret presidential orders in the Bush years is due to:
  A ) national security.
  B ) modesty.
  C ) discretion.
  D ) what secret presidential orders?
Hint: if you don’t know about them, they don’t exist.
 
TECHNOLOGY
Internet to Run Out of Addresses
Within 3 Years

For an explanation why, go to
www.internettorunoutofaddresseswithin3years.com.

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