Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – JULY 14 - 20, 2008
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MISCELLANEOUS
Parisians Celebrate Fact Americans Can't Afford to Visit France
Also mark Bastille Day.
 
ENVIRONMENT
Cheney Pressured CDC to Cut Six Pages From Report to Congress on Warming
To conserve paper.
 
POLL
Pet Owners Prefer McCain
iPod owners prefer Obama.
 
SPORTS
China Removes Dog Meat From Olympics Menu
Nevertheless, spectators advised not to order hot dogs.
Cleaned-Up Beijing Ready to Impress World
Shown: police rid city of undesirables.
FEATURE
The latest call for a timetable for U.S. troop withdrawal from Iraq has come from:
  A ) Barack Obama
  B ) Dennis Kucinich
  C ) Nouri al-Maliki
Hint: he’s not a Democrat.

If you start getting letters from your bank assuring you your money is safe with them, that the bank is in a solid financial position, and contrary to rumors is not near failure, you should:
  A ) breathe a big sigh of relief.
  B ) take a look at the business section of a newspaper to see what experts are saying.
  C ) run, do not walk to your bank and withdraw every penny you have in it, no matter what anybody tells you.
Hint: there is a time to hit the panic button, that’s why you have one.

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