Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – DECEMBER 8 - 14, 2008
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MISCELLANEOUS
Global Recession Hits UK Hard
Shown: Queen Elizabeth wearing her new rhinestone crown.
More Couples Staying Together
Due to Poor Economy

Same true for threesomes.
 
SPORTS
NFL Broadcasts Game in 3-D
Viewers particularly enjoy Viagra commercials.
New Test Predicts Child's Athletic Potential
Parents can then borrow against projected future earnings.
 
KIDZ KORNER
Write Your Own News Story
(Just Fill in the Blanks)

Another ___ bodies were discovered in ______, Mexico, their severed ____s nearby. Added to the ___ bodies found the day before in nearby ____, it brings the total in the spiraling drug violence to ____ for the year to date. Meanwhile, in Washington, officials insisted that great progress in the war on drugs is being made.
FEATURE
Speaking of his Mideast policies on Friday, President Bush said that his administration had been “ambitious in vision, bold in action and firm in purpose.” He delivered these remarks
  A ) in the Oval Office.
  B ) on the South Lawn of the White House.
  C ) on Mars.
Hint: you don’t have to say where on Mars.
 
EDUCATION
NY Times: College May Become Unaffordable for Most in U.S.
NY Times already unaffordable for most in U.S.
 
RELIGION
Venus, Jupiter, Moon Form Smiley Face in Night Sky
Last Days start on cheerful note.

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