Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – DEC 29, 2008 - JAN 4, 2009
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PEOPLE
Arab Potentates Have Given Condi $316,000 in Jewelry
And an undisclosed amount in lingerie.
 
MEDIA
White House Issues Blistering Rebuke to NY Times for Article Blaming Bush Policies for Mortgage Meltdown
Claims story was based on faulty intelligence.
 
RELIGION
Vatican Embraces iTunes Prayer Book
Rejects Zune prayer book.
 
BUSINESS
Big Three Automakers Face Bankruptcy, But Vow to Rebound
Shown: 2009 Chrysler Cerberus, a thrifty 40 mpg sedan based on East Germany's popular Trabant.
FEATURE
With Republicans running everything, how come the economy crashed before the election, not after it?
A )When you deregulate everything, you can’t regulate anything.
B )You can’t see the invisible hand coming, because it’s invisible.
C )In the struggle between fraud and incompetence, incompetence won.
Hint: never underestimate the power of incompetence.
 
SCIENCE
One Second Added to 2008
By International Society of Sadists.
Spirituality Spot Located in Brain
Similar to G-spot, but harder to get to.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: No Health Benefit
From Taking Vitamins

Public advised to take one placebo daily.
Brain-Implanted Sex Drive
Chip Under Development

Comes with remote control.

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