Ironic Times

page one
PAGE TWO – FEBRUARY 9 - 15, 2009
page three

PEOPLE
Kellogg's Drops Michael Phelps for Smoking Pot at Party with Friends
Maker of children's cereals loaded with sugar, trans fats and other unhealthful ingredients says he's “not consistent with the image of Kellogg.”
 
ENTERTAINMENT
“Fear Factor Live” Theme Park Attraction Shuts Down in Orlando
Ticket holders may exchange them for six month subscription to Business Week.
 
BUSINESS
GM to Offer Buyouts to
All Hourly Employees

Will use bailout for buyouts.
Huge Spike in New Customers
For accounting firms used by Cabinet appointees.
Bank of America Starts Putting Bailout Funds Back into Economy
With $10 million Super Bowl party.
SCIENCE
Melting of Polar Ice Caps
Could Shift Earth's Rotation

Take necessary precautions.
Language Site Predicts English
Will Have One Million Words
By End of April

Only about a dozen in actual use.
 
 
Nuclear Reactors Leaking Radioactive Water
Concludes otherwise glowing report
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Protein Injections Shown to Reverse Effects of Alzheimer's in Mice
Could lead to gramps wising up again after years of ridicule.
Study: Best Depression Drugs,
Zoloft, Cipralex

Poll: best recession drugs, Advil, Tums.
 
CORRECTION
 
Last week, due to a typo, we reported that President Obama had assembled "the most ethnically diverse cabinet in history." It should have said ethically diverse. We regret the error.

FRONT PAGE
PAGE TWO
PAGE THREE
ARCHIVE
CONTACT
STORE
   Copyright 2009 Ironic Times