Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – MARCH 2 - 8, 2009
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NEW PRODUCTS
 
Clear Away the Clutter With The Amish Universal Remote!
Built in rural Amish country by local Amish craftsmen, this is the only TV remote you'll ever need. Assembled with adoring attention to detail, Amish technicians have lovingly included the codes for every make and model, so you can throw away all those other remotes and live your life more simply. Like the Amish! $79.99, at Luddite Depot.
 
Read All About It – On Paper!
Can you believe it? Somebody got the crazy idea that news mavens who already visit dozens of colorful news sites all day for free would pay to own a printed black-and-white "newspaper" to carry around with them. Well, who knows? If they can sell Amish-made electric fireplaces, they can sell anything. $.50-$1.00, at select locations.
 
LIFESTYLE
Study: Consumers of Pornography Tend to Be Conservative, Religious
And pillars of the community.
FEATURE
What’s the best advice for average Americans in the economic crisis?
  A ) Hunker down
  B ) Circle the wagons
  C ) Add water to the soup
Hint: You got soup? You’re in pretty good shape.
 
RELIGION
Dobson Stepping Down as
Head of Focus on the Family

To spend more time focusing on his family.
Holocaust-Denying Bishop Apologizes for Comments
“My bad,” he says.
 
ART
Baghdad Museum Reopens
“In the Shoes of Nebuchadnezzar”
runs through August, 2010.

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