Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MARCH 9 - 15, 2009
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PEOPLE
Prince Charles Named World's Best Dressed Man
By readers of Randy Magazine.
 
MEDIA
Murdoch Apologizes for
Offensive NY Post Cartoon

No mention of 183,577 other offensive editorials.
 
BUSINESS
Some Blue Chips Trading
Lower Than Penny Stocks

Pick up some shares at the gum counter.
Firm Pays Unemployed to
Sit at Desks of Companies
With Many Layoffs

Desk-sitters take union vote next week.
Economists Pore Over Data Seeking
Bright Spots

Find positive signs in hunter-gatherer sector.
SCIENCE
Asteroid Just Misses Earth,
Averting Catastrophe

Although financial mess would have cleared up pretty fast.
Study: Optimists Live Longer
Than realists.
 
NASA: Mars Had Recent Running Water
Dried up around time NASA arrived.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Too Much TV Linked to Higher
Risk of Asthma

Fortunately, numerous asthma medicines advertise on TV.
Researchers Discover Cause
Of Gray Hair

Won't name names.
 
FACTOID
  One in Every 31 Adults in Prison
Rest still at large.

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