Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – APRIL 13 - 19, 2009
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PEOPLE
Bush Spending Most of His Time “Taking Out the Garbage”
Shown: just your typical suburban hubby throwing out another batch of torture memos.
 
ENTERTAINMENT
Original Beatles Albums to Be Remastered, Reissued
And relitigated.
Fox to Make Reality Show
Out of Company Layoffs

Starting, hopefully, with Fox.
 
BUSINESS
Top White House Economic
Advisers Optimistic

Strategy of expressing optimism chosen over one emphasizing failure, say insiders.
GM, Segway Team Up to Make New Vehicles
The Chevway (right) hopes to compete directly with rickshaws, while larger Seguick (not shown) goes after horse-drawn coaches.
SCIENCE
Powerful Supercomputer to Tackle World's Toughest Questions
First up: where does nougat come from?
Study: 40% Intellectually Curious
The rest just like to look at the pictures.
 
Male Chimps Exchange Meat for Sex
Human males add salad, two drinks and dessert.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
75% of APA Authors of Clinical
Guidelines for Treating Mental
Illnesses Had Research Funded
By Drug Makers

If this upsets you, there’s a pill you can take.
Bad News: Job Promotions
Unhealthy

Good news: you’re not getting one.
Study: 90% Experience Decrease
In Marital Satisfaction After
Baby is Born

Babies also experience decrease in satisfaction after they’re born.

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