Ironic Times

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PAGE THREE – APR 27 - MAY 3, 2009
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FEATURE
John Paul Stevens was joined by Antonin Scalia and Clarence Thomas in a Supreme Court 5-4 ruling limiting police searches of cars of suspects under arrest. The normally conservative justices joined in the liberal interpretation of the law because:
A )Officers were misinterpreting the doctrine of stare decisis in New York v. Belton.
B )Unusual sunspot activity.
C )Souter slipped something into their coffee.
C )Ginsburg has photos.
Hint: must be pretty good photos.
 
ART
Hitler's Watercolors, From When He Couldn't Make it as Young Artist, Sell for $143,358 at Auction
A few years too late, unfortunately.
 
MAN IN THE STREET
This Week's Question: Is waterboarding torture?
Tomas de Torquemada, inquisitor: "No. It is a safe, time-tested method of interrogation."
Vlad the Impaler, impaler: "Of course not. You want torture? I'll show you torture. My card."
Pol Pot, mass murderer: "Yes, it's torture. For the person administering it! Borrring."
Idi Amin, cab driver: "It is if I'm doing it. Hey, you call this a tip?"
Dick Cheney, sportsman: "No. It is a safe, time-tested method of interrogation."

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