Ironic Times

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PAGE TWO – MAY 25 - 31, 2009
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ENTERTAINMENT
  “The Producers” Opens in Berlin
Audience loves show, especially big musical number, “Springtime for Stalin.”
Agreement Reached With Mel Gibson in Passion of Christ Lawsuit
Jesus settles out of court.
 
BUSINESS
McDonald's Adds Upscale
Coffee Drinks

For pre-diabetics having trouble staying awake.
 
FEATURE
The Torture Debate: Pro & Con
Below are excerpts from the back-and-forth last week.
SCIENCE
Shocker: Early Humans May Have Eaten Neanderthals
Usually with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
 
Astronauts Complete Repairs, Upgrade of Hubble Telescope
But forgot to remove lens cap.
 
HEALTH / MEDICINE
Study: Postponing Retirement May Delay Dementia
On the other hand, you don’t want to forget what you’d planned to do when you retire.
Study: Perfectionists Die Sooner
Conclusion: don't sweat the detales.
 
Barack Obama, President of the United States:
 
Satan, Ruler of Hell:
 
  I took an oath to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution. We must never, ever turn our backs on its enduring principals for expedience’s sake.   Every interrogation method used was in full compliance with the Constitution.  
  Too often our government has made decisions based on fear.   The administration has found that it’s easy to receive applause in Europe for closing Guantanamo.  
  We must uphold our most cherished values not only because doing so is right, but because it strengthens our country and makes us safe.   It is a fact that only detainees of the highest intelligence value were ever subjected to enhanced interrogation.  

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